I'm speaking to you ... it feels like the last few weeks you haven't heard me. I don't think you're shutting me out, in fact I know that you're not doing that. I know I'm going through this for a reason .... to try and strengthen me in an area where I am weak, but I feel like I'm almost at a breaking point. I have faith in you, I know you will help me through this.
Something has been bothering me for the past couple of weeks, but I can't pinpoint what it is, it is really pissing me off. So I try to move on and go back to being my normal self, but then he says something that I'd normally laugh at, but now I just feel like all that is "adding up". No matter how hard I try to let the little things go, I don't feel like I can until I figure out what that bottom lying issue is. Tonight they were talking about an upcoming event, an event that I wasn't invited to, an event they've clearly talked about prior to tonight... so I just sat there. Feeling completely left out, completely like a 3rd wheel. Unfortunately that ruined the rest of my time there with them. Sadly, I'm a person who wears my heart on my sleeve so they bouth caught on real fast that something was wrong and kept pressing me to spill it. I'm going to pray for myself tonight that in the future when something like this happens I can shake it off and move on.
I'm not a messed up person, but not knowing how to fix this, or even what "this" is, it's making me feel like I have no control over whats going on between this individual and I. Help me, please. Lord help me.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
trying to be a better person
Posted by Kelli at 8:01 PM
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1 comments:
ok, I have no idea what is going on and what you are concerned about really, but if there is a certain person you are confused about...wondering what is going on between you, you won't know until you ask that person. Even if you are afraid of knowing what that something is, you have to do it or you will make yourself miserable. Trust me, knowing the truth about something is freedom. Even if you are afraid that knowing the truth might bring pain....Trust me, there will also be relief in knowing the truth, and being able to move on from there. Also it is really rude to talk about an upcoming event in front of someone they know is not invited....it really is.....It also is ok to be honest with them when they show concern about why you are upset. Just say, "I know it is silly, but I wish I were going too, and well, i feel kind of left out when you guys are going on and on about it." It really is ok to be honest.
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